"I lost my way" (ghazal)
In the path of long goodbyes I lost my way
until I find your eyes I've lost my way!
I thought perchance the moon would illume the pines
but under the moon I've pined & lost my way
O hourglass! what a charmer! what a cheat!
as sand descends our time is lost away
a time for the singing of birds arrives in the land
the voice of the turtle surprises the castaway
in the deeps of night the lover is wrung with anguish
in the shallows of dawn who chimes his loss away?
is engagé or dégagé more appropriate now?
will the ingenue soon sigh I've lost the way?
if the buildings & stores implore hey look! we're for sale!
will a houseboat hide the mimes who've lost their way?
when the gymnist twirls his globe our heads revolve!
with an Atlas recognized who's lost his way?
if a thousand times I try to tie one shoe
there's a sock-in-the-mouth surmise I've lost my way!
the raag of midnight! who would sing darbari?
when lacking a king the rhymes had lost their way
the silent one proved slippery like all get-out!
his pelucid paradigms re-glossed the way
what if Raphael sets out to intone your ghazal?
whose alchemy could sublime his loss away?
notes:
Atlas : the Greek god Atlas, said to shoulder the pillar on which the world rests. Secondarily, of course an atlas is a map (e.g., a map of the world).
darbari : the raag called (for short) darbari (literally, "of the darbar" [aka durbar]) is traditionally attributed to the singer Tansen, a gifted & prized musician in Emperor Akbar's court.
engagé & dégagé (French) : engagement & detachment
until I find your eyes I've lost my way!
I thought perchance the moon would illume the pines
but under the moon I've pined & lost my way
O hourglass! what a charmer! what a cheat!
as sand descends our time is lost away
a time for the singing of birds arrives in the land
the voice of the turtle surprises the castaway
in the deeps of night the lover is wrung with anguish
in the shallows of dawn who chimes his loss away?
is engagé or dégagé more appropriate now?
will the ingenue soon sigh I've lost the way?
if the buildings & stores implore hey look! we're for sale!
will a houseboat hide the mimes who've lost their way?
when the gymnist twirls his globe our heads revolve!
with an Atlas recognized who's lost his way?
if a thousand times I try to tie one shoe
there's a sock-in-the-mouth surmise I've lost my way!
the raag of midnight! who would sing darbari?
when lacking a king the rhymes had lost their way
the silent one proved slippery like all get-out!
his pelucid paradigms re-glossed the way
what if Raphael sets out to intone your ghazal?
whose alchemy could sublime his loss away?
notes:
Atlas : the Greek god Atlas, said to shoulder the pillar on which the world rests. Secondarily, of course an atlas is a map (e.g., a map of the world).
darbari : the raag called (for short) darbari (literally, "of the darbar" [aka durbar]) is traditionally attributed to the singer Tansen, a gifted & prized musician in Emperor Akbar's court.engagé & dégagé (French) : engagement & detachment
posted by david raphael israel at 12:21 AM
4 Comments:
damn good! flows very nicely.
the first stanza reminded me of some funny lines:
girl, do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes! :)
though of course, youe ghazal claims otherwise :)
thanks Archanad!
very nice quote, that.
BTW, just now (perhaps-maybe while you were typing this) I revised one couplet -- "In the depths of night..."
cheers, d.i.
David: Your "Radif" is not working. The previous two I think were better attempts. By, the way did you see my comments on "So brief the hours".
Nilanjan.
Nilanjan-bhai,
thanks for the visit!
This may sound peculiarly "non-professional"(?), but at the moment (3:48 a.m. on this side of the globe), I'm still writing & revising this thing directly online. (In morning I'll further review whether radif works or doesn't!) This was 5 verses when initially posted it; now 12....
Haven't yet seen your other comments but shall anon. Sometimes a more ambitious ghazal puts greater challenges / strain on the poor radif(?) We'll see -- clearly ... I've lost my way!
cheers,
d.i.
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