Saturday, October 15, 2005

Saddness (epigram 2)

whatever you say it listens
embracing its reticent lovers
autumnally shedding its covers
wherever you turn it glistens

4 Comments:

Blogger ~River~ said...

Glistening sadness?

Both the epigrams are quite good. The "Sadness" one more so...

Sat Oct 15, 10:23:00 AM PDT  
Blogger ~River~ said...

PS: Is the Poets' House link (to the right---->) an "about:blank"?

Sat Oct 15, 10:25:00 AM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

uh-oh, my error -- I've now corrected the Poets House link (misplaced " mark in HTML). I can imagine you reading your work there someday.

re: the 2 epigrams, -- "glistens" might be novel (I like its surprise quality); the verse puts a good face on sadness.

The original form of the Happiness epigram was perhaps superior. Just 2 lines:

like poison it's fearsomely effective
one smidgeon might change you forever


After I wrote a mirroring Sadness epigram (in 4 lines w/ rhyme), I altered the Happiness one to match the form. Whatever it gains thereby (as series), it lost its terseness; and perhaps I trivialized it (with the intellectual's sadness). I had gained a fresh interest in such a 2-line poem from a couple like this by Alankrita.

"First thought, best thought" is a Zen adage (that's been applied to poetry). Maybe true in this instance.

Sat Oct 15, 10:55:00 AM PDT  
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Tue May 02, 10:49:00 PM PDT  

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