Thursday, October 06, 2005

tri-ku 11 : the curtain

In early quiet
the lost world oblivious
what was the hubbub?

every day
a stage performance
who tugs the rope?

the curtain
raises itself
at sunrise

5 Comments:

Blogger ~River~ said...

You can't be so prolific in blogdom! 12 poems in the space of a day is terrific (for you). I don't know about others, but as a reader, I need time to think. I mull over one poem for days!

I like the way you conclude these funnel-ku in the last verse. They come with a nice finality, yet give space for further thought. I especially liked "Amusement" and "Pedestrian". This isn't to say that I didn't like the others, but these two stood out for me.

Thu Oct 06, 03:03:00 AM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

Riverine --
bloggish insta-publishing gives a changed context to the (erstwhile generality of a habitual) "solitude of composition." In gone years, we'd scrawl such things on scraps of paper, walking sidewalks.

Well: these are so short (as form). Not as if I'm writing 2 plays and a novella before lunch. Apologies withal; or that is, slanted kindness accepted.

"Amusement" and "Pedestrian" presumably inhabit opposite poles of so-called interior / exterior. Happy if both read well.

I view this as a cycle; these are its little cells. One can take one breath or many breaths; it's all noisy breathing. As cycle it seems incomplete, so I add another to it.

again-shukrias,
d.i.

ps: "Pavement" was one of a couple composed old-style (i.e. on scrap of paper)

Thu Oct 06, 04:01:00 AM PDT  
Blogger ~River~ said...

d.i.,
You speak to someone who has just completed some months of scholarly (cough!) research on the subject of poetry on the net. I wasn't speaking about the writer here, but about the reader. Since, so much work on the net is interactive and allows for 'commentary' even from strangers (two days back, we were strangers, weren't we?), the reader's ability to read, digest, 'comment' has to be taken into consideration.

If the reader weren't important, we'd just disable comments, wouldn't we? :)

I do understand what you mean by a haiku sequence. It makes sense.

Write on, then.

Thu Oct 06, 08:43:00 AM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

River,
your research sounds interesting; in an academic context I presume. Are you near point of publishing about this? -- simply curious.
The case of poets like Emily Dickenson comes to mind -- whose feedback was exceedingly restricted . . .; imagination places her in blogophere . . .
result? What suggesteth your research? (more theme for a play, than for a logical answer)
cheers, d.i.

Thu Oct 06, 12:56:00 PM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

ps -- River,
I'm belatedly (on reread) getting the sense of your good observation (muchness for reader, more than production-vol. for writer). Yes, blogging many poems in rapid series can prove much for reader.

Readers of books adjust to this(!) -- they're removed from the immediacy of the writing; readers of blogs may have a different "metabolism" for such than they would as book-readers.
Still, your "blog poetry consumption metabolic rate" may also now be trained somewhat by prior blogo-experience.
(Questions raised for writers of course can differ.)
cheers, d.i.

Thu Oct 06, 02:45:00 PM PDT  

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