Thursday, October 06, 2005

"the water" (mini-sonnet 2)

Open a channel
    & water (if
        there is water)

    will rush
        faster than
            words


fater than thought
    the water
        finds its way

    down
        in happy
            haste


water is what
    the world
        requires

    more than
        tumbling
            utterance more


than words might
    lumbering
        say

5 Comments:

Blogger The Wizard of Odd said...

bloody hell.



nice.


tell people of this. Sing it. Wander and stand in town squares.

ryze or otherwise. its beautiful.

Thu Oct 06, 08:31:00 PM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

ah, always the kind word
from the kind source.

I'm pleased to mention these dabbles & doodads to a few friends naturalemont. This handing out leaflets (metaphorical or elsewise) runs contra certain delicacies one needs to scale some other hillock (or something); [but you youngins needn't worry about these oldster-mumblings, nope].

The poem ostensibly recites the most trite conventional wisdom. Does this trouble me? Nope. A too-slow learner, I'm obliged to keep instructing myself in the abededarian rudiments (poetry being presumably a species of self-briefing, or, as may be, "self-medication"). It makes me happy (in my corner), no matter if it's as patent as daylight.

There may be more involved, but (to quote I presume al-Mustafa) God alone knows best.
cheers, d.i.

Thu Oct 06, 09:02:00 PM PDT  
Blogger ~River~ said...

d.i.,
This be beautiful, man. Love that tumbling-down feel of the piece. The shape gives life to the content.

Thu Oct 06, 10:29:00 PM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

thanks Riv (one whose remark [given your name] can't be taken lightly).
The white-on-black background here seems a likeable "visual environment" for such display.

Fri Oct 07, 03:09:00 AM PDT  
Blogger david raphael israel said...

afterthought:

"tumbling utterance" could (hmmm) be another moniker for this form-of-poem. (But enough, basta, bas, of that.)

Fri Oct 07, 03:13:00 AM PDT  

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