autumn haiku
Inside this building
autumn is mainly a word
outside it echoes
& at her feet spring gazes
outside the tunnel
autumn is mainly a word
outside it echoes
Amidst hurryingWinter lies ahead
the sense of futility
at a loss for words
& at her feet spring gazes
outside the tunnel
Here inside the box
of the darkening season
thinking of ribbons
posted by david raphael israel at 1:51 AM
6 Comments:
Inside....Autumn is mainly a word outside its echoes.Beautifully said.
Is the second "??stanza" a Compound Haiku or..?
Traditionally haikus have been very short, lesser than four stanzas and let's keep it that way
Anony.:
and -- um -- might one inquire, who exactly are you to so dictate, praytell?
If I'm not mistaken, traditionally, a haiku is a single 3-line verse. (This post happens to show 4 such.) Traditional haiku poets write vast numbers (when collected). Traditionally.
Traditionally, arrogant [ill-informed] proscriptive anonymous dictatorial bromides are deleted with little ado. Still, some of us prefer to break with tradition (at times). Doing so is (traditionally) a blogospheric prerogative (ditto poetic), perhaps.
Traditionally, "less" and "lesser"... well nevermind.
hat-tips for your trouble of making an interesting suggestion (notwithstanding my few 2nd thoughts, as noted)--
cheers, d.i.
Fingertree,
thanks as always.
It took me a while to get the sense of your question. (Maybe it was your very question that inspired the historian in Anony., who knows?)
I now realize, what you're asking about is the indentation pattern. I meant this as a visual array of four separate (though "linked") items, not as a form of the 2nd being -- what? -- subserviant to the 1st? The exact (or possible) significance of indentation for a stanza (or poem), is a question I'm ill-equipped to address here & now. But it seems certainly a question.
cheers, d.i.
DRI,
So it is 4 Haikus which look visually like 3 stanzas as Nos 2 and 3 are combined or linked!
Do I get this right?
( A Compound Haiku in fingertree's terminology)!!
FTree,
well I regard it as 4 items; the indentation gives some visual variety, a different visual "position".
The eye itself moves left to right as it reads; so the left-right spacial coordinates are part of the reading / absorbing process.
Anyway, conventionally a haiku is merely a single, 3-line poem, period. There are (in Japanese poetics) "linked" forms; but I've not studied this in enough detail (nor recently enough) to filch from it meaningfully. I simply consider this as a small "sequence of 4 little poems." Others (such as you) are at liberty to regard it as you wish!
cheeeeeeerz,
d.i.
Post a Comment
<< Home