mythology — vignette no. 1 [boomerang]
Time had a whim to stop! but had simply forgotten how!
the trees had grown more cautions they declined to say
the birds? they'd all flown south (a wind had whispered "sough!")
well & as for the rivers still they pretended to wend their way!
it became (in fine) a non-event! (though an allmost-was)
time gradually drained itself in thought could this allow
these pellucid beings to feel some lift of a blissful buzz?
had time really hankered to stop? but failed to remember how?
the trees had grown more cautions they declined to say
the birds? they'd all flown south (a wind had whispered "sough!")
well & as for the rivers still they pretended to wend their way!
it became (in fine) a non-event! (though an allmost-was)
time gradually drained itself in thought could this allow
these pellucid beings to feel some lift of a blissful buzz?
had time really hankered to stop? but failed to remember how?
posted by david raphael israel at 9:10 AM
3 Comments:
more than the poem, i enjoy and appreciate the use of space. Why do I like it? Why do you use it? I wonder.
VM @ Bangalore
Vasude!
glad to hear that!
(my poem is not offended)
space
is a happeing thing man!
(from antiquity
it's descended)
if there's reason to the
spacial rhyming
it involves a
visual chiming!
(or like that, sort of, hmmm?)
cheers,
d.i.
ps:
to generalize, I use horizontal space (a form of visual caesura) -- well to mark the caesurae [I guess that's the plural: the pauses], but also (viewed differently) as a species of punctuationless punctuation mark.
you dig?
You might not have noticed that I use no punctuation marks (well: no periods commas semicolons and generally no colons; I do use parentheses, and exclamation & question marks & ampersands!). I owe this practice (and my understanding of it) to the longstanding practice (& some theory or at least observation about it, some time ago) of the poet whom (more than others) I esteem as a national treasure of current American poetry and (in various ways) a model and beacon (do I wax encomionic?): W.S. Merwin. That is, long ago (30 years now?) he stopped using punctuation marks in his poetry. He later noted that he found the effect was like lifting out the tacks holding down the poem: lacking those marks, it sort of lifted off the page. I paraphrase (imperfectly), but that was somewhat the sense of it. I both practice and tend to recommend others consider eschewing those pesky commas & periods. They belong to prose but poetry keeps stubbing its delicate toes on 'em! They're more a hazard than a help. But (more than Merwin has) I came to like & develop the use of the (visible) caesura [not just as classically conceived -- in some new ways too], as you've kinda noted.
In this interface, I do not have as precise control of the spacing As I'd wish. It's a bit too incremental (not fine-tune-able enough); but anyway, I make do with how-it-is.
How perspicuous & acute, prodigious & astute of you to note & remark on this facet of my po-blogging, thanks!
cheers, d.i.
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