Separated at birth [limerick / rubai]
version 2:
A Limerick at the corner market trundled into a Rubai
a shocklet of recognition made the Limerick just about cry
"What village did you take birth in?" "Ah!
the Persian Abode of the Shah!"
the Limerick wandered off quite shaken under a taciturn sky
note: version 2 (above) can be said to display a beher (cadence). [It's a beher of my own invention, and is reflected in every line of the poem.] I'm retaining version 1 (below) to illustrate the revision process. I'd wanted to make the verse conform more exactly to a cadence. In rewriting (to achieve the beher of version 2), the poem per se was, I feel, also improved.
version 1:
A Limerick at the corner market ran into a Rubai
a shock of recognition made the Limerick almost cry
"What village come from?" "Me? I'm Persian poetry!"
the Limerick wandered off confused beneath a silent sky
A Limerick at the corner market trundled into a Rubai
a shocklet of recognition made the Limerick just about cry
"What village did you take birth in?" "Ah!
the Persian Abode of the Shah!"
the Limerick wandered off quite shaken under a taciturn sky
note: version 2 (above) can be said to display a beher (cadence). [It's a beher of my own invention, and is reflected in every line of the poem.] I'm retaining version 1 (below) to illustrate the revision process. I'd wanted to make the verse conform more exactly to a cadence. In rewriting (to achieve the beher of version 2), the poem per se was, I feel, also improved.
version 1:
A Limerick at the corner market ran into a Rubai
a shock of recognition made the Limerick almost cry
"What village come from?" "Me? I'm Persian poetry!"
the Limerick wandered off confused beneath a silent sky
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