Epigram Pedagogy

I fear that I'm growing pedantic
I ponder the mettlesome antic
of rudely instructing the youths
in how to sound faux-epiphantic

. . . or, um, something.

Well, you see, now that I've turned 50 and all, it seems I'm letting out all the stops and showing myself to be the crusty, pedantic opinionist -- the full butterfly of a wiseguy who had rested in wait in my cocoon-of-becoming. So.

So here's (illustratively) my latest little exploit in pedagogical narrative. Or that is, my attempt to teach a bright young chap a thing or two about writing epigram verses. The forum was the Ryze network "Shakespeare & Company" (in which I've participated in recent months); the lad is named Ravi, recently appearing on the virtual scene. He posted a sequence of 5 epigrams. I pulled out a couple of them and tinkered out this attempt at instruction. How useful such a gesture is, I wot not. Anyway, as said, -- well I'm experimenting with the presumed prerogatives of this new, senior moment.


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Ravi,

your play, here, with the possibilities of an epigrammatic style of utterance, suggests a good penchant for experiment.

Though you have them strung together with some suggestion of thematic connection, to some degree each epigram-verse has its own independence.

This one I find myself pondering over a bit --

existence, sans a reason
expression, sans a rhyme
why am i watching
this pointless pantomime

The verse aptly expresses the feeling of dissatisfaction that a mundane level of human boredom (in oneself or others) can easily inspire. It's curious that a philosphical bent of mind, when turned toward this particular quality of boredom, seemingly gave birth to a once-popular (and still recalled) style of 20th century philosophy, whose literary impact was perhaps as memorable as its philosphical value.

The rhyme in your verse itself seems to want to cure what it complains of (i.e., the lack of rhyme in expression). I find myself, though, wanting a bit more rhyme even in
this rhyme -- which leads me to think about words that could rhyme with "reason".... Too, the idea of the pantomime seems to beg for some sort of more elaborate treatment, if possible. Well, I don't arrive at that last idea, but do find an additional rhyme, thus:

existence, sans a reason
expression, sans a rhyme
I tire of this unceasing
and pointless pantomime

A thing about such ornamental features as metered rhyme, is that it seems to show a bit more audacity & astonishment if it's pulled off slightly more elaborately, as here. I hope you'll pardon my presumptuous assumed prerogative of trying to deliver a lecture by grabbing one of your verses and punching it into a different shape for suposedly pedagogical purposes. ;-)

This epigram is interesting in a different way --

fear fear,
tremble that i may
not do whats right
for fear of doing wrong

-- it captures (and shows an interest in) paradox, in this case, the paradox that through fear, the very thing that is feared (doing wrong) is paradoxically brought about (or at least, a lack of doing right -- which is half-way toward actively doing what's wrong -- is achieved). Classically, I guess those are "sins of ommission" versus "sins of commission." The verse recalls another epigrammatic statement: "He who hesitates, loses"; but here, the theme of fear (as cause of hesitation) is highlighted. The rhythms of this verse, though, seem a bit unsmooth. The third line in particular seems a bit too hesitant (unintentionally adding to the paradox I'd say) -- or just not quite in pace. If it were my verse, I'd consider editing it in some way, e.g. like this --

fear fear,
tremble though i may
i fail to do what's right
for fear of doing wrong

-- but then my mind turns to the question of rhyme, and another thought emerges --

fear! fright!
tremble though i may
i fail to do what's right
for fear of doing wrong

Then, I wonder if "foulplay" could work its way into the 4th line. But I don't quite see that it can. Instead, a new idea appears -- of shifting around the lines thus:

fear! fright!
tremble though i might
for fear of doing wrong
i fail to do what's right

This seems to express the paradox of your verse with as much felicity as the original -- and has perhaps the advantage of marshalling rhyme in a way that seems to lend gentle emphasis to the feeling of paradox that seems to be the strongest and brightest feature of the underlying thought. One wants the feeling of paradox to have rich expressive sway; it seems to do so a bit more fully when the ornament of the metrical & rhymed form is put in service of the paradox as a sequential structure of expressed thought.

I hope you'll find this small dose of pedantry interesting (despite the hazarded & withal regretted rudeness).

cheers,
d.i.