An Inland Journey cont'd [narrative poem]
PART TWO: AN EVENING'S TALE
IV.
"Good Father" I sighed "I'm flummoxed and strange
my canard should no rustic believe
how I seem to be bagged in dimensions deranged!
wotting not an to laugh or to grieve"
"Come sit" the monk bade "in the hearth lives a fire
whilom rarely I'd squander the kindling
whatsoe'er be thy saga an comic or dire
I espy in your visage no swindling"
We sat and we supped and we quaffed of his port
the while I recounted my tale
the anchorite proved of a genial sort
only what could the telling avail?
"I passed" I declaimed "many years of a life
whose burden late grew sore oppressive
having lost half a fortune and all of a wife
the drift of my thought turned regressive
V.
"I recalled olden tales of a land beyond seas
wherein happiness falls from the bough
I resolved for to sail if the wind should but please
to reach land or risk limb were my vow
So a nautical chilla-nashini I kept!
at its zenith my craft struck raw sand
now adventured my foot onto shore and I wept
fell the sequel oblique and unplanned
I encountered no tree lading fabulous fruit
all golden its nectarine kiss
whose taste and glad glimpse whose scent or bare thought
all impart absolute happiness
In lieu what I spied as I roved from the beach
were a hamlet whose map proved banal
if my aim were to taste immortality's peach
I were caught in illusion withal
VI.
"Every way of that ville were a street of my town
till I sauntered anon to a ruelle
I discovered a house like my haunt! Do I frown?
had my trek been the trip of a fool?
In the house stood a man who resembled myself
never once he remarked on the marvel
his mood my erst mode his trove my erst pelf
he divulged how he hankered to travel
He fancied to wend to the ends of the world
his sojourn commencing eftsoons
in favorable gale should his sail be unfurled
a journey of one or two moons
He bade me abide in the haunting he left
he departed by God but this morn!
as he sallied forth sea-ward I saw how bereft
he'd debark as I landed forlorn"
notes
To a certain degree degree, the experiment with mildly archaic diction and style is also an experiment with primary and secondary meanings of some familiar words; for the more archaic sense as well as the current sense can (at times), in the setting of such a poem, be brought together into a more dynamic continuum. Perhaps I exaggerate what's actually accomplished in the instance. This is merely noting one line of interest. My interest in such possibilities owes something to the example of early Merwin (especially his superb, long narrative poem "East of the Sun, West of the Moon" from Green with Beasts, as well as stray things read from Robert Graves, Ezra Pound, Yeats, Frost, and even (to a minute degree) Tagore. Anyway, I'll put in a some notes (perhaps overmuch; but I won't do this always!)
flummmoxed and strange: (i) confused and peculiar [modern sense]; (ii) embarrassed and a stranger [archaic sense]
my canard should no rustic believe: (i) no simple-minded person would be likely to credit my false(seeming)/fantastical story [primary (figurative) sense]; (ii) no country-person (by nature, an expert in this field) would be apt to recognize my duck [secondary (literal) sense]
bagged: (i) caught, stuck; (ii) drunk (as with the idiom, in the bag = inebriated); (iii) captured like a bird [such as a duck] -- can be noted as a mild, possible implication
dimensions: (i) a system of physical (or metaphysical, or metaphorical, or even narratory) positional coordinates; (ii) may suggestion (as a secondary meaning) dementia = madness]; "dimensions deranged" may signify "disarrayed coordinates [of position]" (if taken primarily in a physical sense)
wotting not: not knowing
an to laugh or to grieve: whether to laugh or to grieve
whilom: formerly
an comic or dire: whether comic or dire
chilla-nashini: a severe austerity of forty days' duration
at its zenith (i.e., after the completion of the 40-day period)
craft = boat or ship
fabulous fruit: the fruit described in fables. Here, the peach of immortality (chiefly of Chinese [and also, possibly, Persian] conception) is indicated. At some point one might peruse the late Prof. Edward H. Shafer's tome, The Golden Peaches of Samarkand. (Whether it should prove germane in the instance, I wot not; my studies are sadly sporadic.)
fell the sequel oblique and unplanned: what happened [fell or befell] next [i.e., the sequenl] transpired in a manner not directly following (from logic or expectation) nor consonant with anticipation (plan)
withal: nevertheless
ruelle (from the French rue, street, diminutive): a small street or lane
trip: (i) journey; (ii) collapse or misstep
trove and pelf: fortune and possessions
haunting: dwelling [perhaps my own gerund-formation(?) from haunt = habitual abode; but I vaguely think I've seen the gerund form (in this sense) somewhere]
IV.
"Good Father" I sighed "I'm flummoxed and strange
my canard should no rustic believe
how I seem to be bagged in dimensions deranged!
wotting not an to laugh or to grieve"
"Come sit" the monk bade "in the hearth lives a fire
whilom rarely I'd squander the kindling
whatsoe'er be thy saga an comic or dire
I espy in your visage no swindling"
We sat and we supped and we quaffed of his port
the while I recounted my tale
the anchorite proved of a genial sort
only what could the telling avail?
"I passed" I declaimed "many years of a life
whose burden late grew sore oppressive
having lost half a fortune and all of a wife
the drift of my thought turned regressive
V.
"I recalled olden tales of a land beyond seas
wherein happiness falls from the bough
I resolved for to sail if the wind should but please
to reach land or risk limb were my vow
So a nautical chilla-nashini I kept!
at its zenith my craft struck raw sand
now adventured my foot onto shore and I wept
fell the sequel oblique and unplanned
I encountered no tree lading fabulous fruit
all golden its nectarine kiss
whose taste and glad glimpse whose scent or bare thought
all impart absolute happiness
In lieu what I spied as I roved from the beach
were a hamlet whose map proved banal
if my aim were to taste immortality's peach
I were caught in illusion withal
VI.
"Every way of that ville were a street of my town
till I sauntered anon to a ruelle
I discovered a house like my haunt! Do I frown?
had my trek been the trip of a fool?
In the house stood a man who resembled myself
never once he remarked on the marvel
his mood my erst mode his trove my erst pelf
he divulged how he hankered to travel
He fancied to wend to the ends of the world
his sojourn commencing eftsoons
in favorable gale should his sail be unfurled
a journey of one or two moons
He bade me abide in the haunting he left
he departed by God but this morn!
as he sallied forth sea-ward I saw how bereft
he'd debark as I landed forlorn"
notes
To a certain degree degree, the experiment with mildly archaic diction and style is also an experiment with primary and secondary meanings of some familiar words; for the more archaic sense as well as the current sense can (at times), in the setting of such a poem, be brought together into a more dynamic continuum. Perhaps I exaggerate what's actually accomplished in the instance. This is merely noting one line of interest. My interest in such possibilities owes something to the example of early Merwin (especially his superb, long narrative poem "East of the Sun, West of the Moon" from Green with Beasts, as well as stray things read from Robert Graves, Ezra Pound, Yeats, Frost, and even (to a minute degree) Tagore. Anyway, I'll put in a some notes (perhaps overmuch; but I won't do this always!)
flummmoxed and strange: (i) confused and peculiar [modern sense]; (ii) embarrassed and a stranger [archaic sense]
my canard should no rustic believe: (i) no simple-minded person would be likely to credit my false(seeming)/fantastical story [primary (figurative) sense]; (ii) no country-person (by nature, an expert in this field) would be apt to recognize my duck [secondary (literal) sense]
bagged: (i) caught, stuck; (ii) drunk (as with the idiom, in the bag = inebriated); (iii) captured like a bird [such as a duck] -- can be noted as a mild, possible implication
dimensions: (i) a system of physical (or metaphysical, or metaphorical, or even narratory) positional coordinates; (ii) may suggestion (as a secondary meaning) dementia = madness]; "dimensions deranged" may signify "disarrayed coordinates [of position]" (if taken primarily in a physical sense)
wotting not: not knowing
an to laugh or to grieve: whether to laugh or to grieve
whilom: formerly
an comic or dire: whether comic or dire
chilla-nashini: a severe austerity of forty days' duration
at its zenith (i.e., after the completion of the 40-day period)
craft = boat or ship
fabulous fruit: the fruit described in fables. Here, the peach of immortality (chiefly of Chinese [and also, possibly, Persian] conception) is indicated. At some point one might peruse the late Prof. Edward H. Shafer's tome, The Golden Peaches of Samarkand. (Whether it should prove germane in the instance, I wot not; my studies are sadly sporadic.)
fell the sequel oblique and unplanned: what happened [fell or befell] next [i.e., the sequenl] transpired in a manner not directly following (from logic or expectation) nor consonant with anticipation (plan)
withal: nevertheless
ruelle (from the French rue, street, diminutive): a small street or lane
trip: (i) journey; (ii) collapse or misstep
trove and pelf: fortune and possessions
haunting: dwelling [perhaps my own gerund-formation(?) from haunt = habitual abode; but I vaguely think I've seen the gerund form (in this sense) somewhere]
posted by david raphael israel at 5:08 AM
2 Comments:
should the notes be before or after
a poem? chilla nishini is not a familiar word. wot say?
VM
Ah -- in my preference, the notes are better after the text. Those who encounter an unfamiliar word may easily enough look down to end-notes and consider if the question isn't cleared up there. For to make overmuch of such notes (placing them prior to primary text!) is comparable to placing cart before horse. Truth to tell, some may deem it a borderline insult merely to install such voluminous notes (or at least, may cavil at finding explained therein things that prove obvious enough to them; the self-annotation is considered plausibly pretentious, by some). However, one hazards these annoyances of opinion for sake of conveniencing many to whom one or another phrase are surely apt to be unfamiliar. Chilla-nashini falls in that class, undoubtedly.
cheers,
d.i.
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