Maryam Gazala: "These moments" [ghazal translation]
Lacking clear cause I'm assaulted by these moments
when I'm minded to move I'm halted by these moments
say I'm settling to sit? these moments push me along
do they peddle mirages? yes I'm exalted by these moments
they have levied from me the habit of regular sleep
a midnight knock my door has defaulted from these moments
on some days they raid my larder of every morsel!
other days my begging bowl's filled and salted by these moments
O when I make a try for the path of being simple
with what riddles and puzzles I get pelted by these moments!
day and night I keep on piling up more errors
like a soothing friend I'm lulled and lilted by these moments
the entire world is disclosed as a vast museum
when into its labyrinth I've been tilted by these moments
what I most cherish is my desire for the murmur of roses
but here on the stairwell thorns are belted by these moments
oh what courteous physicians they can prove to be!
when you wound me I'm gauzed and felted by these moments
why now falsify your newsbrief darling Gazala?
when they choose to leave you'll be jilted by these moments
=============
Rendering of a Gujarati ghazal ("Amthi amthi mujhne aklaave kshano") by Maryam Gazala Radhanpuri -- following from Max Babi's literal translation.
posted by david raphael israel at 8:10 AM
5 Comments:
How do you do it, David? I like this!
Thanks Gautami. I myself feel this has been one of the luckiest encounters of the happenstances of English with such an effort; -- an "imported" poem has managed to naturalize itself with uncanny detail, yes? But to answer the "how do it?" question -- I think it's partly the result of persisting with similar work over many years. Eventually, one gets the right hunches, inshallah.
cheers,
d.i.
Pretty good version, David.
I agree with Gautami, you have hit a lucky spot to come so close to the original poem within the straitjacket of rhyme and radif and quafiya of the formal ghazal format.
In fact, very good!
I am, bubbling over with more half-chewed gruel for your gristmill.
Cheerz!
Somehow I feel queasy in these moments
I feel like going, they stop me, these moments
I feel like resting, they make me run, these moments
seemingly scrupulous and illusory are these moments
They don't let me sleep at night; at midnight
they keep knocking on the door, these moments
Some days they snatch at my bites, other days
they pile food on my leafy plates, these moments
When I go by the simple ways
they baffle and puzzle me, these moments
When I go on blundering day and night
like a dear friend they show me the way, these moments
Though the whole world is a strange place
they send me the wrong way, these moments
Though I long for the roses, why on the stairwell
they place thorny bushes, these moments?
They are the great healers, say the people
you wound me, they heal me in these moments
Ghazala, why bother with the stories of the past?
Those gone, aren't coming back in these moments.
~Ravi Kopra
http://blogs.ibibo.com/ViewComments.aspx?mid=5c18604c-2256-4dbe-9b18-74f2de6d5f7a&sf=1&blogid=4b16270c-7dfd-4e79-bc62-0c0b62acbe76
***
The original ghazal in Gujarati:
Amthi amthi mujhne aklaave kshano
Chaalvaa jaaoon ne thobhaave kshano
Besvaa jaaoon ne dodaave kshano
Mrug-jalo dekhaadi bharmave kshano
Hun neeraate ungh pun naa lai shakun
Ardh rate dwaar khakhadaave kshano
Chhinvi le koliyo ko'dee ane
Koee-dee mujh paatr chhalkaave kshano
Hun saral panthe jaaoon chaali ane
Koydo aapine aklaave kshano
Bhul hun karti rahun choon raat-dee
Ek sahiyarni jem samjhaave kshano
Chhe ajayab ghar sakal sarnksar aa
Ne vali eman y atkaave kshano
Chhe gulabo-na abharkha toh mane
Baavlo chhe kem aa vaave kshano
Mare mat viadh chhe akseer e,
Ghaav tun aape ne rujhave kshano
Shoon "Ghazala" daholi-e itihas-ne
Je gayee paachee na e aave kshano.
~ Maryam Ghazala in 'Akshar Kyaari', Maasoom Prakashan, Thane, Maharashtra India, 2006.
***
See another translation by David Israel at:
http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=776335&confid=1199
http://whitewings.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/01/somehow-i-feel-queasy-in-these-moments-ghazala-.htm
Post a Comment
<< Home